The Menopause Survival
Guide ...For Men
Hello, and welcome to "The Menopause Survival Guide…For Men"
We're going to continue our discussion about menopause and its impact on your relationship and mental health. If you're reading this, you might be feeling distressed and worried about the state of your relationship or your own well-being.
But let me tell you, there is hope.
This can be fixed.
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Let's discuss...
Vaginal Dryness
…also known as vaginal atrophy or GSM. This is a prevalent symptom experienced by many women during menopause.
It occurs due to declining estrogen levels, which lead to thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal tissues. As a result, women may experience discomfort, pain, itching, and burning sensations during intercourse, as well as increased vulnerability to urinary tract infections (UTIs) and urinary incontinence.
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Vaginal dryness affects up to 50% of menopausal women and can significantly impact their sexual health, intimacy, and overall quality of life. Many women may feel embarrassed or reluctant to discuss this symptom with their partners or healthcare providers, leading to underdiagnosis and undertreatment.
Strategies
Normalize Discussions:
It’s important to be sensitive about this issue when talking to your partner. Create a safe and open environment for discussing sexual health and intimacy in your relationship. Normalize conversations about vaginal dryness and reassure your partner that it's a common and treatable symptom of menopause, not a reflection of inadequacy or failure. Remember that this isn’t about you or your technique, so do not mistakenly read between the lines.
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Educate Yourself:
Understanding the physiological changes occurring in your partner's body will not only help you understand what’s happening to her, but also show her that you are making the effort to do so. Listening to this podcast is a great start.
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Explore Treatment Options:
Encourage her to explore treatment options with a healthcare provider. Discuss the pros and cons of various treatments, including hormonal and non-hormonal options, and support her in making informed decisions about her sexual health.
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Enhance Sexual Communication:
Foster open communication and experimentation in your sex life, encouraging her to express her needs, preferences, and concerns without judgment or pressure. Explore alternative forms of intimacy and pleasure that prioritize comfort, connection, and mutual satisfaction.
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Provide Emotional Support:
Be a compassionate listener and validate her experiences. Reassure her of your love and desire and explore new ways to enhance intimacy and pleasure between you.
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I tried this but too late. By the time I had done my research she wouldn’t even touch me. I suggested forms of hugging that might build up trust and intimacy but it fell on deaf ears. She felt that any form of touching would lead to me trying to have sex with her.
So do your best to not give an impression of expectation and don’t expect it to go further. Regular touching can build up intimacy and could possibly get you to the point that sex is back on the cards. But you have to build up to this REALLY slowly. And don’t be angry or disappointed if it leads nowhere.
The fact that you are touching or being intimate in any way is a vast improvement on what I experienced. And you will get used to it.
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Create A Comfortable Atmosphere:
Ensure the bedroom and living spaces are comfortable and stress-free.
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Intimacy Beyond Sex:
Focus on non-sexual intimacy, such as cuddling, kissing, and spending quality time together, to maintain a close bond.
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Treatments
Over The Counter Products
Water-Based Lubricants:
These provide temporary relief from dryness and discomfort during sexual activity. Brands like K-Y Jelly, Durex, and Astroglide are popular options. Try to avoid anything scented or flavoured as this could lead to irritation. If you find the cost is building up, then there are cheaper options on Amazon. Just be sure to check out the reviews and maybe test them on yourself first to ensure they provide enough lubrication.
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Moisturizers:
Vaginal moisturizers like Replens or Hyalo GYN can provide longer-lasting relief compared to lubricants.
Prescription Treatments
Vaginal Estrogen Therapy:
Low-dose estrogen treatments, available as creams, tablets, or rings, can help replenish estrogen levels directly in the vaginal tissue. These will not have an effect on the levels of any HRT medications your partner is already taking. So they’re an ideal product to take.
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Ospemifene (Osphena):
An oral medication that acts as an estrogen agonist/antagonist specifically for vaginal dryness and painful intercourse.
Hormone Replacement Therapy
Systemic HRT:
This involves taking estrogen (with or without progesterone) in pill, patch, gel, or spray form. It treats various menopausal symptoms, including vaginal dryness, but should be used under medical supervision due to potential risks. Her combined Estrogen and Progesterone patches solved this issue for us.
Natural Remedies and Lifestyle Changes:
Phytoestrogens:
These are plant-based estrogens found in foods like soy, flaxseed, and certain herbs. They may provide mild estrogenic effects.
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Hydration:
Drinking plenty of water can help maintain overall hydration and potentially improve vaginal moisture.
Avoiding Irritants: Stay away from perfumed soaps, douches, and other products that can irritate the vaginal area.
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Pelvic Floor Exercises:
Kegel Exercises: Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can enhance blood flow to the vaginal area, potentially improving lubrication and reducing dryness.​​​​​​​​​​​​
By combining these remedies with supportive actions, you can help alleviate your partner’s discomfort and maintain intimacy in the relationship.
Basically, foreplay, gentle encouragement, understanding, and lubrication are the best ways to solve this.
HRT should make a massive difference once she finds the right balance.
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For the next article, we'll discuss a subject that I am sure many of you are very keen to tackle. Decreased Libido.
